Dress to Impress… or Not?
4 MIN READ
The way you dress isn’t your identity, but it does represent a part of it. What we choose to wear can send a strong message, which is something to be aware of especially when we are in a position of leadership. This episode is meant to leave you feeling encouraged, confident in yourself, confident in your innate beauty inside and out, and ready to channel your gifts and talents towards improving your ability to lead and influence the people around you. In case you think how we dress seems a little unrelated to our leadership potential, it’s not! It’s very much related.
Leadership can be broadly defined as influence or the ability to influence people, but that definition gives absolutely no insight into what a great leader looks like. Leadership is about making a difference, right where you’re planted. At the end of the day, you have gifts, past experiences (good and bad), and you have things you’re passionate about.
So, the question then becomes: How can we best plug those things into setting you up for success and putting you in the best place possible to flourish as a leader of others?
3 STYLE CHOICES THAT HAVE IMPACT ON OUR LEADERSHIP:
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
It takes only a tenth of a second to form an impression of somebody. It’s okay to play the game, but just be cognizant of the fact that first impressions will be based very much so on how you choose to present yourself. Is this ideal? Definitely not, but people are wired this way even when we know we should look deeper than surface-level and into someone’s heart. Being aware of this fact will help set you up to climb your leadership ladder and eventually earn the trust of others. Choose an outfit that sends the message you want to be well-received by others. Take grace into account knowing that we are hardwired to make tiny judgments.
Series of experiments/studies related to first impression: Vanessa Van Edwards is a bestselling author of a book called “Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People,” and she suggests we position ourselves on a zoom call in such a way that people on the call can see our hands. Whether that’s having the camera far enough to see your hands or intentionally resting your chin on one of your hands, for some reason seeing someone’s hands helps us subconsciously decide if they’re a friend or foe. Clenched in a fist? Foe. Open and relaxed? Friend! A study that was published in the Journal of Neuroscience found that the brain automatically responds to a person’s trustworthiness just based on his or her facial features and facial expression before it’s even consciously perceived by us that we are doing that. The study was headed up by a man named Jonathan Freeman, who was an assistant professor in New York University’s Department of Psychology at the time. These and many other studies show that this just happens to be a way of the world, but the more we learn how to navigate within it (like Vanessa Van Edwards’ advice to show our hands on zoom meetings), the better the outcome for us.
ATTENTION
We all know there’s a distinction between someone choosing to wear something in order to get attention (or maybe more likes) and someone choosing just to wear something because. The intent behind what we wear and what kind of attention we end up receiving are very much intertwined in this way.
There’s a great book called captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge. It’s one of my favorite books and it tells the story of God’s Creation, His creation of woman is the crown jewel. Think of it like an artist who has a huge gallery of paintings on display and in the very center of the place is the artist’s favorite painting, and that’s us in God’s creation. God made us beautiful, and yes, that includes you! You are stunning, and you are meant to be that way!
This is something to celebrate, but it might just not be something you want to use for getting attention, especially in a professional setting. In a professional setting, it’s distracting. The choice is yours, but wouldn’t you rather gain your rapport for how smart and talented you are? The second reason to reconsider showing excessive skin is that it doesn’t always build others up. Keeping in mind that leadership is influence, needs to be good intentions, encouragement, service, and generosity behind it, and it really hurts when someone falls into the comparison trap. Of course, we don’t have any control over the reactions people have to pictures we share, but we can be mindful of feeding into the comparison trap which ultimately has the least encouraging impacts on other women and girls!
DO NOT PUT TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON WHAT WE WEAR
At the end of the day, whether you look the part or not, whether you’re dressed to the nines or looking a little more haphazardly put together, trends change. First impressions and mistaken judgments can be reversed. Don’t let clothes and how you look distract you from your true purpose.
You are reading this or maybe you listened to the @bestyoucanb podcast to develop yourself into the leader you were born to be. You’re taking steps to cultivate discipline, you’re reminding yourself to reach out to a friend and check in periodically, you’re seeking to serve, you’re trying to learn how to be a better listener or how to puck up the courage to try and speak in front of a group. You’re doing all of these to change others’ lives for the better and to influence them for good, and not to merely be known for how cute your clothes are.
For what its worth, people won’t even remember half of the things you say to them. They won’t remember the way you looked or dressed when you interacted with them. They will remember how you made them feel. People remember how you make them feel.
Dig deep: How do you feel about your external appearance? Can you share things you did to set yourself up for success when it comes to fashion?
I would love to know in the comments below.
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE HERE:
March 21, 2022
Be the first to comment