Habits and Casting Votes for Who You Want to Be
Habits can be great or they can be super super annoying. In a nutshell, habits are automatic actions in our lives. Oftentimes they are things we do without consciously thinking about them and, overtime, they create a lot of who we are today and who we become.
As defined by author James Clear in his book Atomic Habits, a habit is a routine or behavior that is performed regularly and, in many cases, automatically.
According to research published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it takes about 2 months (an average of 66 days) to start with nothing and end up completely automatic, reliable habit formed.
What does it mean to have a habit?
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
I love what James Clear writes in his book:
“…the process of building habits is actually the process of becoming yourself.”
James Clear
This is in the context of explaining how important it is that we focus on the language we use surrounding a habit because it is so intimately tied to our identity. This same idea is also echoed by Lieve who we spoke with a few episodes back (check this post). She broke down goal-setting into four key components, one of which was that we embody the goal.
Likewise, Clear writes that “your habits are how you embody your identity”.
How is it formed?
This year 2022, I wanted to be more grateful. For me, to make it a habit means to practice, to build up in pursuit and embody that identity by doing a daily gratitude exercise: Journaling at least 3 unique and specific things that I’m thankful for.
I have another goal for this year, which is to be confident. The confidence of knowing. To be able to grow and prosper as goal, I need to develop an interest in learning, an awareness, an interest in personal growth, and belief in who I am as God says. These things that I associate with confidence can be cultivated through reading. For me to stick to reading, I aim for finishing 2 books each month (Audiobooks included).
How can confidence help you form better habits?
When I do my gratitude exercise each day, I am a grateful person. When I read and learn each day, I am a confident person. When I exercise each day, I am an athletic person. When I eat healthy and choose foods that nourish my body and give me energy, I am a healthy person.
We all know that developing new habits and breaking old ones is a difficult task. But what if I told you that confidence could help you form better habits?
Studies show that people who are more confident about their abilities are better able to form good habits than those who lack self-confidence.
People with higher self-efficacy (belief in one’s own abilities) also has a greater chance of success when forming new habits. This is because they are more likely to try again after failure, even though they may feel discouraged at first.
How does your identity affect your habits?
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”
James Clear
There are many factors that influence your habits. One of them is your identity.
The influence of your identity on your habits can be seen in how you spend money, what you eat and how you behave in public.
This is one of the reasons why I love the little lulubuck system (check this post). I used to not be an avid reader and lacked the belief that I ever could be one. Then I slowly started to cast a few votes for being a reader. I rewarded myself with a point towards this made up Lululemon dollar system I created, and I got to tangibly see, “Wow … I earned $5 this week! I read five times! Wow!” For me, that was amazing.
I kept going, the momentum got faster, and reading became easier. It became more habitual because I was gaining more confidence in my ability to vote for my identity as a reader.
Break old habits
In order to break out of old habits, it is important to have a better replacement (in with the good and out with the bad!) and an accountability partner. We often do better breaking a bad habit by replacing it with something else.
I had quite the habit of needing a sweet after dinner. So, I decided to replace my dessert with 1 cup of fresh berries. Overtime, I got myself away from the habit of needing a sweet after dinner.
Just this simple act of swapping helped me get rid of that certain habit.
Additionally, having a partner on this breaking-habit journey is a necessity. Accountability should just be a sounding board that is always ready to help, willing to serve and give tough love if needed.
It is also helpful to have a habit tracker. I am using Lieve’s planner, which we talked about in the previous episode, this tool is so useful in providing a visual component that helps you track your progress.
Conclusion
Cast more votes for your beneficial replacement habit and then remind yourself you are that person. You are an athlete, healthy, organized, grateful and so on.
Go one step at a time so that you can repeatedly prove to yourself you can do it.
If you want to incorporate a daily habit, just do it. Write down that you did it, reward yourself for it, then do it the next day and the next. It becomes a ripple effect. Soon, you’ll see the result of your consistency.
It’s never too late to get back on track with your goals, and breaking them into smaller habits might just be exactly what you need!
What kind of person do your habits reflect you to be? Are you someone who is always organized and on top of things, or are you more laid back and go with the flow?
This article explored the idea that your habits reflect your identity.
Let me know what you think in the comments.
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE HERE:
Further Reading:
April 30, 2022
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