2 MIN READ

The stories we tell ourselves set the trajectory for our future. 

Kindra Hall

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When we tell ourselves the stories of the times in our past that make us believe we aren’t good enough, we either won’t go for all the opportunities life throws our way or we will go for them without all the courage and confidence they deserve. 

In order to combat that, let’s ask ourselves the important question:

Where are your good stories?

Whether we relate this to the leadership development part of our lives, or any fitness and nutrition goals we have, it is so important that we ensure the stories between our two ears are lending themselves towards a really positive trajectory for our futures.

How does this work? On the basis of foundational brain psychology, the things we believe about ourselves–some of which are true and some of which are false–have a massive impact on the decisions we make and the doors we choose to walk through in life. 

Over time, we can quickly see how this has massive implications on how we choose to spend our time, walk into a room full of people we don’t know, make career decisions, and even make friendship and spouse decisions. 

Stories of past mistakes retold over and over can also keep us stuck in a rut of inaction, because of how impactful negative stories can be. If something negative or traumatic happens, it can stick with us as a reminder to avoid something dangerous or harmful. 

If we know we are hardwired to remember the negative more, it makes sense to expect we might have to do a little heavy lifting to boost the positive memories and put them on the front and center platform they deserve in our minds!

Below are a few ideas of ways to combat our own negativity and make room for the stories in your past that can build you up for your future instead:

• Journal regularly on both the good days and the bad days! This gives you something to look back on to remember events you might otherwise overlook and forget.

• Print and keep old pictures to have memories you can flip through! Whether you keep them in an album or a box, the imagery will take so much of the work out of trying to remember things. 

• Get together with trusted friends who can reminisce and remind you of how awesome you are! 

• Spend time in quiet and without your phone so your brain can be allowed to think creatively without any distractions. 

• In general, minimizing time spent distracted (social media scrolling!) is wise, because social media is telling a story to us that we cannot control. More often than not, it isn’t telling you a story that builds you confidence or tells the truth. 

• Practice telling yourself good stories by leaving yourself encouraging sticky notes or keeping a note on your phone with things that make you smile. 

• You can do the same exercise as above by telling yourself truths about you such as how creative you are or how intentionally created you are with a specific purpose! 

• Pray about your difficulty speaking positivity over yourself and ask God to help you remember the good stories. 

• Read up on how our brains work, because understanding why we focus so much on the negative helps us naturally be more willing to work with how we are wired for a more beneficial outcome. 

• Work on stopping the negativity in its track by being disciplined and making it a habit to just stop when you notice yourself going down a bad road. 

• Revisit the places where memories happened if that is something you feel comfortable and safe doing. 

• Consider a therapist who can ask good questions and help you in this self-discovery process. 

Keep me posted on your progress and let me know if anything works for you that isn’t already on this list!

Let’s think more positively of ourselves, together!