“If you can’t lead yourself, you don’t have the right to lead anybody else.” This was the quote that gave me reason to really consider: Am I doing a good job of leading myself?

The person that we see staring back at us in the mirror can sometimes delivers the harshest of truths as it highlights the many areas we all fall short. Other times, our reflections deliver a boost of confidence when they take notice of our strengths or especially appreciate about ourselves. But are we always honest with that person staring back at us?

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Do we say we are going to do something and actually do it?

Do we hold ourselves to the level of excellence that see in the leaders that we admire?

Do we encourage ourselves?

Do we set goals with ourselves?

Do we lead ourselves?

Now, you might just be quickly scanning these questions thinking to yourself, “what does this have to do with leadership?”

It has everything to do with Leadership! The reason why I love the aforementioned quote—“If you can’t lead yourself, you don’t have the right to lead anybody else”—is that it shows us exactly where we need to begin in our leadership journey.

I am a firm believer that you already have the innate potential to be a world-changing leader who changes the hearts and minds of people that you come into relationship with. But before we put the cart before the horse, we have to start by leading ourselves.

And backing up just one more time…

A great place to start leading yourself is having a firm and unwavering understanding of exactly who you are.

So I’ll ask you! Who are you?

I already know a few things about who you aren’t:

I know you are not any of your past shortcomings and you definitely are not your past mistakes or failures. And if you want to lead yourself, you have to agree with me on this one! Another favorite quote of mine is by Bob Goff: He said he wants to “change who I used to be into more of who I’m becoming. A lot of times, in leadership, we end up spending time in who we used to be and over identifying with our failures.”

Is that accurate or what?!

So many of us fall into the trap of identifying with past mistakes, but you cannot keep going down that road of relentless shame and regret if you want to step into your leader self.

Instead, let’s focus on what I refer to as the “evergreen definition” of Y-O-U! What are the things about you that are so close to your core that they won’t just vanish in an instant? I’ll give an example:

I don’t want to include “I’m an athlete!” as a part of my definition for myself, because in full transparency: I basically had a identity crisis when a long term injury left me unable to do any of the movements that made me *feel* like an athlete! Instead, I might substitute it for something like “I am strong,” because strength is measured in so many ways, and I could emphasize in this example something more long-lasting like the mental fortitude to push through difficulties and remain committed.

Focus on a definition that doesn’t rely too much on your circumstances, and try to be intentional about putting pen to paper as you dig into who you are. And once you have that, the next step is to practice leading yourself.

To learn more about what it means to lead yourself before you lead others, check out the very first episode of the Best You Can B podcast! Happy listening!

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