How do we strike the perfect balance between grit & grace — between giving something our all and really working hard?

Between demanding the best from ourselves and showing ourselves grace when we fall short?

How do we know when to call it quits to get some rest before the next day instead of just pushing through fatigue?

This is a balance I have to be intentional about almost every day.

Tune in to the full episode here!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts

---

On the one hand, we’re told that we have to grind to shine and work our butts off in the cut throat world of business to get what you want. On the other hand, we are told that it is a-okay in the name of “self care” to literally stay in bed all weekend watching Netflix. Maybe this is just me, but I personally feel like we are bombarded with so many messages toggling between 2 unsustainable extremes.

The fact of the matter is that we need to fall in the middle of working hard (grit) and resting (grace!) or else one of the extremes will limit our long term growth.

100% hard work and 0% play leads to burnout, exhaustion, and lack of passion and drive. But, an inconsistent commitment to work and a low tolerance for the stress that sometimes comes from it leads to getting nowhere close towards your dreams. I don’t want to get burnt out, but I also don’t want to look back on the past with regret that I didn’t put in more effort.

Let’s start by unpacking the very basics: What is grit?

Grit is discipline and pushing through adversity or unexpected setbacks. The Merriam-webster definition of grit is a “firmness of mind or spirit; unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger”

Maybe you have multiple passions you’re trying to pursue at once, so you wake up extra early when it’s still dark outside to have the productive morning hours that you can devote to endeavors outside of the normal work or school day. Maybe you say no to weekend plans to study so that you can make deans list every semester. Or, maybe you’re goal oriented, you don’t skip assignments, you push past comfort in a workout. Grit can take a number of different shapes and sizes in my opinion.

Grit is an amazing trait to have and to continue developing so much so that it has become a massive buzzword in the leadership community. But how do we know when we might be overdoing it?

One of the biggest things to pay attention to in order to avoid overdoing it on the hard-work side of things is to simply pay attention. Self awareness is simple, but definitely not easy. Pay  attention to the cues your body gives you that it needs a little more rest. If you fall asleep the second your head hits the pillow, that usually means you are approaching somewhat chronic fatigue. If you feel like your brain has to push through thick mental fog every afternoon, that is another queue.

Your body is like the dashboard in your car. Pay attention when it signals different lights to you like maintenance required!

The biggest tip I have when it comes to developing grit is staying consistent.

Grit is nothing more than a good habit of demanding excellence and effort from yourself, which is why throwing in the towel and quitting on your consistency every Friday through Sunday is just ruining the progress that you make during the week.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is grace, but what is it? Grace is that “alright, work has been super crazy this week, so I am going to skip tomorrow’s workout for an extra hour of sleep” thought process every once in awhile. Grace is trying to reach your goals on Monday, falling short, knowing when to call it quits, and then returning to the drawing board the next morning with just as much effort. Grace is accepting mistakes, forgiving yourself, and moving forward.

Grace is also treating yourself with the same level of understanding and forgiveness that you extend to others. Sometimes we show grace to others and then we show ourselves nothing but resentment and negativity.

But can we overdo it with the grace we show ourselves? Absolutely!

I would say you’re overdoing it if you find yourself making excuses, because we don’t typically make excuses unless we have something to feel a tiny bit guilty about. You shouldn’t feel any guilt if you are truly just trying to maintain your ability to do good, hard work! If we feel like we are conscientiously lowering our bar for ourselves and giving ourselves a pass for laziness, then those are some good markers indicating too much grace.

On the same note, it is so important to remember that all we see are the highlight reels of other people’s lives.

All we see of other’s accomplishments are the accomplishments themselves. If there is someone you admire who has done amazing things that you want to emulate, dig a little deeper in your research and see if you can find out more behind the scenes of their life before they “made it” so to speak, and I can almost guarantee you it will be filled with days of being tired, days of working hard, and days of falling down and having to get back up.

If your dreams require grit and grit requires consistency, then if you overdo it on the grace side of things you aren’t taking one step backwards to take two steps forwards. You’re just going backwards at that point or at best staying stagnant.

Let’s adopt a focus of balancing grit and grace by surrounding ourselves with people who encourage what we really want. That includes who we choose to follow on social media.

RELATED: Four Mindset Spectrums & Where We Should Land

For me, I would rather be encouraged by the person who enjoys a lazy Saturday every once in awhile and also likes to wake up early in the mornings and get things done. Decide what you want to be filled up with and take action! 🙂

You can also try to focus on baby steps for whatever it is that you struggle to incorporate. I could probably work all day and be happy as a clam. I love goals, I love putting in the effort behind them, but I know that’s unsustainable.

Burnout is a real thing and it isn’t productive for anyone, so I use a planner that has a section for me to write out some habits I want to work on each month and that is where I schedule in time to intentionally incorporate some grace-filled practices. Since that is the side of the spectrum that I am usually weaker in, I make it a to-do by scheduling in yoga or bath time throughout each week.

If you’re the opposite, try to tell a friend as an accountability buddy that you’re going to wake up 30 minutes earlier for one week straight and see how you do.

Decide what you want to be filled up with and take action. Add in specific baby steps to prevent yourself from swinging too much towards whichever extreme you tend to go towards.

It also helps to just be yourself!!

A lot of people relax (ie the grace side of the spectrum) watching a lot of Netflix series and shows. If that’s how you destress, great! But it’s not for me. In order for me to be myself and not watch TV, I need to be comfortable enough in my own skin and comfortable enough with who I am, that I can be in a group of people and have no idea about what happens in the newest season of a certain show.

Lastly, I would suggest staying focused on your goals, but not idolizing them. If you’re focused on your goals, you will work hard for them. If you don’t idolize them, you’ll keep them in perspective enough to still be okay with a weekend spent not specifically working towards your goals but being with friends and family instead. Keeping goals in perspective and not making them your life will ensure that you show yourself grace in your journey towards reaching them.

---