4 MIN READ

Life is a dance and you learn as you go. In this episode’s conversation with Rebecca Bender, we touched on how to stop our spiraling thoughts in their tracks, how to develop grit, why our stories all matter, and even how to go about instilling good character in the next generation. 

It was an amazing chat with her, but what does learning as you go without leaving the race even mean? Read along and hopefully, you’ll discover how this applies to you.

Rebecca is grit, resiliency, wisdom, and definitely a sense of humor all wrapped up in an incredible story of redemption and triumph. Relentless in her mission to help others find their purpose, Rebecca Bender is CEO of the Rebecca Bender Initiative and founder of Elevate Academy, the largest online school for survivors of trafficking in the world. An award-winning thought leader, advocate, author, and consultant, she educates on many human trafficking-related topics and serves the U.S. National Advisory Council, state Dept of Justice Advisory Council, and advises a variety of nonprofits.

5 THINGS I LEARNED FROM “HOW TO LEARN AS YOU GO, BUT DON’T LEAVE THE RACE”

(My favorite things from what she shared with us.)

#1 Getting out, and getting set up to start life all over again

Starting over is really hard. It is hard to navigate to a place that is unfamiliar when you know you can’t return to what’s familiar. Some things need to change. When nothing changes, nothing really changes. You have to choose the other direction if you are used to turning left and maybe this time turning right is a better option. Try something new, and know that it won’t come easily. 

Start talking about it, grab a notebook and start journaling about the things that you want to pick up again. Then, see what happens next. 

“Starting over is really hard.”

Rebecca Bender

#2 Grit and Resiliency

Related blog: https://bestyoucanb.com/grit-grace/

Grit – a term popularized by Angela Duckworth, a social psychologist. She studied elite performers in the fields of business, education, the military, and sports. She found that what makes the most successful achievers so great isn’t their inherent talent but their levels of commitment, discipline, resilience, and perseverance.

We are naturally born with grit and resiliency. And the best thing about it is that we can strengthen it. It is like a muscle, the more we flex it, the stronger it grows.

Give yourself grace when you can’t hit the home run. It takes discipline, resolve, not giving up, and using fear as your check engine light. Even though it is uncomfortable, you can do it. 

When you least feel like doing something is the best time to do it. 

We just have to lean into the things that make us stronger.

Facing fears? That’s how we strengthen our character.

Related video:

#3 Reframing

Instead of trying to rush things, pause and take a deep breath. 

Sometimes, we live in a rat race. 24 hours a day seems so lacking because we have so much on our plate. We try to fulfill the commitments that we make and cross things off of our to-do lists. 

Instead, we should learn how to stop saying YES to everything so quickly and ask ourselves: “Where do I want to invest my energy for today?”

#4 The past doesn’t define who we are

Living in the past steals so much energy and potential from each and every one of us.

The shame of the past will take you down quickly and you can’t control it with the thoughts in your mind. It leads to nowhere. It will take you deeper. Pull yourself up and be intentional by knowing that your past does not have to define you.

Today, you get to define what the future looks like. You are going to set your mind on what you want to do. You are going to set the trajectory for what comes next. Hold on to your dream and put your best foot forward. 

#5 Tell your story

Tell your story and be thoughtful about it, because your story does matter even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.

When you are ready to tell the world about your story, ask yourself this: “What is the part of my story that I want to share, and what is more intimate that I want to preserve and protect?” There is so much pressure to air all of our dirty laundries in the name of vulnerability and transparency, but it’s okay to have boundaries in what you do and do not share. 

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I really loved the conversation we had and the key takeaways that we can actually use in real-life situations. Which part of her story are you compelled and ready to share your own, too? 

Let me know by leaving a comment below right now, and let’s talk about it. 

You can also support Rebecca by heading to her website at https://www.rebeccabender.org/
Grab a copy of her Books: https://www.rebeccabender.org/books
Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imrebeccabender/

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LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE HERE: